The Buddha said that attachment leads to suffering.

How many times have we, as performers, gone into a gig with expectations and an attachment to dreamed of outcomes? You say to yourself things like: I’m going to sell a ton of CDs tonight, I’m going to have all the people I invited show up, they’re really gonna dig my new song I wrote this week, I’m gonna sing every song and play every song perfectly. Then the show is over, you’re packing up and you go over the evening in your head: sold three CDs, only six people showed up, someone laughed during my new song and boy did I clam a few chords on my opening number. All of the negative things from the show keep running around in your head and they get stirred up and mixed around until you can’t see through the muck.

I just played a series of gigs that I could have easily thought of in negative terms and gotten really bummed about, but instead I chose to look at the little victories that were hidden in plain sight. Two of the gigs I recently played were crowded with people that weren’t exactly there to listen and there were a lot of small children running around the coffeehouse (my son being one of them). While it was a bit annoying at the time I made a conscious decision to play my more up-beat songs and engage the kids. My son even got on stage with me at one point and played along. I was also playing a little more aggressively than I usually do and I think it came across as impassioned playing because a few people came up afterward to say that I played with emotion.

At both of those gigs I could have stayed focused on the fact that I thought no one was listening to me and my music – my art. That was, of course the farthest thing from the truth, people were listening. My wife took a great video of my son on stage with me and it has gotten a lot of attention. I passed out a bunch of CDs and got some great sign-ups and made some decent cash. My expectation of a listening audience could have very easily gotten in the way of me seeing these great outcomes. I could have easily said – Yeah I got a few sign-ups, some nice video, but NO ONE was listening to me.

At my last gig I was confronted with the opposite situation. I was told by the venue owner that they got great crowds on Saturdays and that I should expect to make a lot of money. At the beginning of the gig there was nobody in the place except for me and the two baristas. I even said to them that I guess I’ll be playing to just you two – and they giggled and replied that that would be amazing. Well people did show up, and there was a total of ten people in the audience sipping coffee and conversing. I started playing, got their attention and started talking to them and telling stories about the songs. It turned out to be a great evening – almost like a house concert – very intimate. Everybody took a CD that I gave to them for free and everybody signed my email list. I made a total of $5.00, but had a blast.

Here I could have gotten really upset at the owner for “leading me on”. I could have been pissed about the money and the lack of a crowd. Instead I got some quality sign-up that I believe will come see me again because I engaged them and I made an impression with the girls behind the counter who will tell the owner what a great evening the patrons had and I’ll be asked back I’m sure.

When I lived in NYC I always tried to be present when I walked down my street and my mantra was: Be aware of what’s on the sidewalk – dog shit, barf, garbage, piss, beer – then choose your path carefully. You can clearly see the dog shit and other debris and you can clearly make a decision to avoid it or step right in it. People and fans can usually tell when you’ve made the choice to step in it.