Apr 032012
 

This is the fourth of 7 blog posts about the songs on my new CD “Big Texas Sky”. As part of this posting, ‘How Do I Tell Her’ will be available as a FREE download for a limited time.

‘How Do I Tell Her’ is a song that has a simple premise, but a complicated delivery. The simple message is that a man is afraid to tell his wife he lost his job. The complication comes from trying to relate the emotions involved in such a transaction over the course of an average country song.

Being a music teacher in the public schools, I have been in the position of getting let go because of budget cuts. I have had to go home and have a frank discussion with my wife about the possibility of not having an income. Luckily I’ve always been rehired or have found another teaching position, but the difficulty of coming home to explain the situation is not something a person wants to experience.

The topic is current with unemployment skyrocketing and good honest folk being let go from jobs they thought they were going to retire from. How does a person feel when they go home to tell their spouse? “Like a thief in the night”, “A ghost in their soul”, “Afraid to deliver disappointment”.

You have no idea how the person on the receiving end is going to take it either. Will you collect their tears in kind for all of the bad news you are delivering? or will something else happen? Divorce or support?

The lyrics of this song went through more than a few rewrites. I workshopped it at a songwriter’s circle and got some surprising feedback. They basically said that it sounded like when the song was over the guy was going to put a bullet in his head. Yikes! I wanted a sadness but not too much. So, I rewrote and rewrote. I made the pivot of the story the love that the couple had for each other. “Til death do us part an all that’s supposed to mean”. Of course the wife needs to point it out to the husband (isn’t that usually the case?) and she essentially says get a grip, you’re not a loser and we’ll be OK because we have each other.

Next to “Anywhere But Here”, this is the most ‘country’ sounding track on the album. I wanted to go for that late 60‘s, early 70’s sound with the pedal steel awash in reverb and a male chorus of background singers. Sad, but not too sad. Something that would make a guy order a shot and a beer after having a listen. He’d raise the shot glass and say – “Here’s to that guy… I know how he feels… Man, I wish I had a woman like that…”

Take a listen and let me know what you think. This will be a FREE download until April 10, 2012.

Jun 062011
 

Last year I started a collaboration with a lyricist on a new song that looked promising, but after many rewrites and varying attempts at orchestration, we called it a day. Part of the problem stemmed from the lyrics not being something that I would personally sing. I had a disconnect to the story and to the verbiage. But, I liked the melody and the arrangement that I wrote, it had this bright-spookiness to it that was interesting. I hated to see it abandoned.

I let the track sit for a while and revisited it to see if I could rewrite it somehow, but the original lyrics kept getting in the way when I tried to write something new. I just decided to let it sit. I had to let it sit long enough that I would be able to “forget” the lyrics that we had written.

So recently, I was writing something about a musician who has been out on the road and is coming home, but doesn’t really remember his place in the life of the person he left. I’ve been seeing a lot of stories on the news about soldiers that have been on a tour of duty for a year and then come back to their households and have a hard time trying to fit back into the flow of everyday life. The only time it seems to work is if the person that was left behind has a lot of patience and love.

I started the lyrics and wan’t sure of the form they were taking and then I remembered that I had this finished arrangement with the expendable lyrics. The hard part was making the new lyrics fit the exisiting melody and the form. I had to replace a bunch of words that didn’t work with the rhythms; a lot of scratching my head trying to think of different ways to say the same thing and still have them rhyme.

The only thing I kept from the original lyric was the phrase — beautiful again — which, in the case of the new lyrics, became the title and the resolving feature of the story.

Moral of the story is: never throw anything out… and, revisit the bone yard every once in a while to see if there’s stuff there that might inspire you.

Let me know what you think of “Beautiful Again”. Do you re-work old material? or do you just let it die?

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Beautiful Again

Verse 1:

Heading home

After miles on the road

Called you on the telephone

To lighten my load

It’s so damed hard

To just fit back in

I forget about the pleasantries

Don’t know where to begin

PreChorus 1:

But now you welcome me back with dust on my shoes

Tired to my bones I got nothing left to lose

Chorus:

Cause you pick up all the pieces

We left on the the ground – and then

You add some love and tenderness

And you make life beautiful

Beautiful again

Verse 2:

You know my heart

I’ve been a traveling man

Singing ‘bout the lonely road

Guitar in my hand

I broke your mirror

Threw my luck on the floor

Couldn’t stand to see myself

Walking out your door

PreChorus 2:

But now you kiss me like I never told you good-bye

You hold me together and make everything alright

Chorus:

Cause you pick up all the pieces

We left on the the ground – and then

You add some love and tenderness

And you make life beautiful

Beautiful again

Bridge:

Hypnotized and mesmerized

Counting all those white lines flyin’

Underneath my wheels

I knew this wasn’t real

But now I see

Now I see

How I colored it wrong

This is where I belong

With you –

Chorus:

Cause you pick up all the pieces

We left on the the ground – and then

You add some love and tenderness

And you make life beautiful

Beautiful again

 


Mar 292010
 

I’m tired of conflict. I’m tired of hate spewing voices and aggressive acts of mindless violence, discrimination and lack of compassion. So — I’m gonna pick up my guitar and play, just like yesterday. Thanks Pete!

It should be of no surprise, but let me point it out anyway, that the only communal human activity in which it is impossible to interact negatively is in musical performance. Now, let me clarify that statement before some of you start to point out what you think is wrong with my statement. By performing I mean the people/artists actually playing the music via instrument or voice. They are the ones that I specifically recognize as unable to be at odds with the other performers on stage. Impossible. The listening audience may be moshing around and tearing at the seat cushions, but the performers are in sync and are harmonious in their actions.

Think about it. Have you ever witnessed a band, string quartet, percussion ensemble or kazoo octet not getting along as they played their music? Acting and dancing may come in a close second, but it is not he same – there is no sustained byproduct like the vibrations that fill the air from a musical performance. Conflict may arise from a musical performance but it occurs before or after the music is being made or when something or someone disrupts the performance. The music stops, people address the issue, but while the music plays, there is no conflict between them.

When I go to concerts the musicians are usually smiling. Sometimes they may have a stern face because they are concentrating in order to listen and interact. But there is no prejudice, no animosity, no hatred while the music plays. Even if the musician is performing solo there is an inner peace that allows the music to flow out of them. It’s like  the act of creating music dissolves all hostility and soothes the savage breast.

But what about music that has a message? Music that inspires men to go off to war? Music that inspires love? Well that’ something entirely different from what I’m talking about. Performers have no real control over how the listener interprets the sounds. My focus is the performer. The pure artist that engages in music for the sake of creation. And I say that in that creation there can exist no conflict and no hate. As the Sex Pistols played ‘Anarchy in the UK’, the audience may have been bloody, but the boys in the band were in harmony and not in conflict. Until they stopped the music.

OK, so we have to be playing music constantly in order to stay out of trouble. No. But, as in meditation it’s what we carry away from the practice that sustains our ability to be present. So perhaps through consistent performance of music we can carry away feelings of compassion and empathy. Just a thought.

I’m in the middle of budget cuts once again. The school system in which I teach has been cutting away and we all know what gets trimmed: music, art and home economics. It would seem to me that these should be the last subjects to cut. Home Ec teaches us how to eat. Art teaches us appreciation of life, beauty and creation. And music teaches us how to get along – communal non-aggression. That seems like a recipe for the survival of our species if I ever heard one: eating, creation and co-existence. But the people with their hands on the purse strings say otherwise and choose to diminish the role of the arts in our lives. Sounds like a conspiracy to keep us angry, hungry and silent.

Well it seems my only response is to play my guitar like I did yesterday, will today and plan to do tomorrow and then get on my knees and pray I won’t get fooled again.

Feb 222010
 

The Buddha said that attachment leads to suffering.

How many times have we, as performers, gone into a gig with expectations and an attachment to dreamed of outcomes? You say to yourself things like: I’m going to sell a ton of CDs tonight, I’m going to have all the people I invited show up, they’re really gonna dig my new song I wrote this week, I’m gonna sing every song and play every song perfectly. Then the show is over, you’re packing up and you go over the evening in your head: sold three CDs, only six people showed up, someone laughed during my new song and boy did I clam a few chords on my opening number. All of the negative things from the show keep running around in your head and they get stirred up and mixed around until you can’t see through the muck.

I just played a series of gigs that I could have easily thought of in negative terms and gotten really bummed about, but instead I chose to look at the little victories that were hidden in plain sight. Two of the gigs I recently played were crowded with people that weren’t exactly there to listen and there were a lot of small children running around the coffeehouse (my son being one of them). While it was a bit annoying at the time I made a conscious decision to play my more up-beat songs and engage the kids. My son even got on stage with me at one point and played along. I was also playing a little more aggressively than I usually do and I think it came across as impassioned playing because a few people came up afterward to say that I played with emotion.

At both of those gigs I could have stayed focused on the fact that I thought no one was listening to me and my music – my art. That was, of course the farthest thing from the truth, people were listening. My wife took a great video of my son on stage with me and it has gotten a lot of attention. I passed out a bunch of CDs and got some great sign-ups and made some decent cash. My expectation of a listening audience could have very easily gotten in the way of me seeing these great outcomes. I could have easily said – Yeah I got a few sign-ups, some nice video, but NO ONE was listening to me.

At my last gig I was confronted with the opposite situation. I was told by the venue owner that they got great crowds on Saturdays and that I should expect to make a lot of money. At the beginning of the gig there was nobody in the place except for me and the two baristas. I even said to them that I guess I’ll be playing to just you two – and they giggled and replied that that would be amazing. Well people did show up, and there was a total of ten people in the audience sipping coffee and conversing. I started playing, got their attention and started talking to them and telling stories about the songs. It turned out to be a great evening – almost like a house concert – very intimate. Everybody took a CD that I gave to them for free and everybody signed my email list. I made a total of $5.00, but had a blast.

Here I could have gotten really upset at the owner for “leading me on”. I could have been pissed about the money and the lack of a crowd. Instead I got some quality sign-up that I believe will come see me again because I engaged them and I made an impression with the girls behind the counter who will tell the owner what a great evening the patrons had and I’ll be asked back I’m sure.

When I lived in NYC I always tried to be present when I walked down my street and my mantra was: Be aware of what’s on the sidewalk – dog shit, barf, garbage, piss, beer – then choose your path carefully. You can clearly see the dog shit and other debris and you can clearly make a decision to avoid it or step right in it. People and fans can usually tell when you’ve made the choice to step in it.

Feb 012010
 

Here’s a song I wrote quite recently that is giving me problems. It’s one of those songs that has certain parts that I like, but then there are also certain parts that I’m not sure fit quite well or that don’t play nice with other parts. What to do? I don’t want to just throw it out. And it’s difficult to rewrite because I’ve created this deep notch that I keep falling back into; I stray a little this way or that and I just come right back to where I began.

Let’s talk about what the lyrics say and maybe we’ll figure this out together, huh?

[The first two stanzas talk about how the singer feels that everything is against him: the world and his age. I have a food/eating metaphor going on. All's well, I like these lyrics.]

I Surrender To Your Love

Sometimes I feel
Like the world’s a hungry mouth
With an appetite
Cold and unsated

Sometimes I feel
Like I’m about to be swallowed up
Just an afterthought
Old and outdated

[Now I introduce the lover/wife/companion who will come to this guy's rescue after a long day of fighting the world and he surrenders to her love. Nice... ok I buy it.]

Then you come to me
You pick me up
You clean and dress my wounds
You whisper softly of better days
And in the pale light
Before the morning comes
I see no difference between the moon and sun
All my wars have been fought and won

Now I surrender to your love
Now I surrender to your love

[Now what happens here? Does she turn on him? She forsakes him? hmmm. But I like the way it sounds. Also he gives in to her and we get that surrender metaphor again. The music picks up a little here as well and drives along in a minor mode for a bit.]

I’m tired of carrying
The weight of this life
I’m tired of running on
The edge of a knife

Lies are forgotten
Lying underneath the truth
Your eyes have forsaken me
I fly a white flag of truce

[This guy is pitiful - He's kind of making excuses for needing to be picked up off the floor. But then again he could also be saying that he's done the best he could, he's tired of fighting and he just wants to sit on the couch and watch Sport Center.]

I’m coming home
I’ve laid down my arms
I never asked to be your hero
And in the pale light
Before the morning comes
I see no difference between the moon and sun
All my wars have been fought and won

Now I surrender to your love
Now I surrender to your love

[Here we are back to the first theme. I like these lyrics a lot. This guy is dreaming of what he really wants out of life materially and spiritually.]

Sometimes I want
Just a little more than what gets me by
A rich man’s dessert
Tasting so sweet

Sometimes I want
What a wise man holds to his heart
An hallelujah
Simple – pure – complete

[But then he comes back to who and what really props him up in life - his companion/lover.]

Then you come to me
You pick me up
You clean and dress my wounds
You whisper softly of better days
And in the pale light
Before the morning comes
I see no difference between the moon and sun
All my wars have been fought and won
Now I surrender to your love
Now I surrender to your love

Do you see what I mean? Maybe I’ll just let this ferment for a year and come back to it? I’ve been playing it at gigs and people say they like it. Take a listen and let me know what you think.

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